Recovery is a hard process

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wow and with that sucessful bombshell i have to tell you guys i am going away for the next few days so no tumblr…nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooo see you guys soon love you lots and lots Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

wooo soo hot i had to change into a summer dress!!!! wtf????Xxxxx

wooo soo hot i had to change into a summer dress!!!! wtf????Xxxxx

Anonymous asked: This will probably be difficult to answer, so don't worry if you can't do it, but what started your eating disorder in the first place? X

man these anons are deep…really making me think here…

erm well i have been through this with my therapist for the first year of treatment up until i went to inpatient when i figured talking about the past hadnt gotten me very far so i should focus on the future…which i did and i managed to get out…so seemed to work…anyway

it was down to a number of things i think, my dad got a heart scare about 2 years ago and i convinced myslef he was going to die and so became really depressed i guess and felt lost, my bro moved away to uni and there was a massive focus for my parent on that for months and months so i was basically ignored unintentionaly…so i’d go out around 10 in the morning and then come home at like 7 ish so meals were all over the place and i guess it started my bad habits…

also around the start of my illness i became deeply involved with one guy who turned out to be a total jerk who lead me into a ‘relationship’ that never happened and then slept with my then best friend wooo….and then a few months later i became involved with someone else and like i guess i sort of loved him even though we wernt together that long and anyway he turned out to be a player who went on to play me…and so my confidence was shattered and then i guess all i could do to control my life was eating…

that is probably not what caused it but over the years thats all i can seem to make sense of…but i think my ed might have happened anyway…i dunno Xxxxxx